Morning:
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Readers of an older pop generation will remember the lugubrious Eighties hit, Spare Us The Cutter, by Echo and the Bunnymen.
Well, they are all bunnymen down at the Commons this week as the great cutting row billowed through Prime Minister's Questions like a wild summer gale.
David Cameron is angry that Gordon Brown is hiding future cuts under spending promises. Gordon Brown not telling it straight on the figures — how could he even think it?
Mr Brown is furious in return with Mr Cameron for daring to question his legendary hocus pocus with figures.
These two are so beautifully matched in their antipathy that it seems like a shame to break them up.
Mr Cameron needed to steady himself after wantonly predicting civil chaos yesterday (you really cannot take the Eighties out of the boy).
So he rose with a kind of statesmanlike growl and very rigorously combed hair, suggesting the iron Conservative discipline which awaits us on his watch.
Would a future Brown government cut or spend? Ooh, I dunno.
According to Mr Brown he was increasing “current spending” and reducing “capital spending after 2011” . Back and forth flew the predictions of what all this really means.
Shorthand: in 2011 there might still be some money down the back of the sofa. By 2012 there won't be.
You'd be amazed how long it took for Mr Brown to get this out. He threatened that the Conservatives would “Cut Sure Start, do nothing about unemployment.”
Savour this riff because you're going to hear it a lot more often.
Mr Brown assumes everyone is as attached to his Sure Start under-fives initiative programme as he is. Most voters are unaffected by it.
Mr Cameron looked fit to be tied, diagnosing “a Prime Minister in full retreat”.
Then he had a rush of blood to the head and called Mr Brown's performance “evil”. That's not on — and it should have been checked by the new Speaker.
Mr Brown is many things, including an increasing liability. But he is not Pol Pot or Radovan Karadzic. Heaven knows what Prime Minister Dave will say when he encounters someone really bad.
The riot Mr Cameron predicted was now near to breaking out across the Commons floor.
“The Prime Minister must be heard,” intervened Speaker Bercow, to sounds of pure hatred from the Tory benches.
Nick Clegg tried to get in on the scrap, but really, this is one for the two best enemies: Thumper Dave and Giant Haystacks Gordon.
It's gory, headache-inducing and it is going to continue day in, day out as long as it takes to get round to voting day in the longest general election campaign in history. God help us.
Reader views (1)
I watched that particular PMQ and for the life of me could not understand a word Brown had to say. He was all over the place. Nothing joined up. Ranting and raving; stumbling over his words about things that were not relevant to the points Dave was making. Even getting his financial projects completely laughable. He made a proper fool of himself. The Front Benchers beside him looked dumb struck. He just did not make sense. He seemed to be having some sort of unexplained moment. Is there something wrong with him? I think he has had it.
- Albert Hall, hove england
