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David Cameron was ridiculed for suggesting hoodies would benefit from a hug now and then.
But headteacher Charlie Taylor - a contemporary of the Conservative leader at Eton - believes he was right, and has taken the approach further.
At The Willows, a state special school, children with severe behaviour problems massage each other every day. They even take tea and toast together in the most English of afternoon rituals, and teachers are told to hug pupils.
It is part of a pioneering approach that has transformed the school, in the borough of Hillingdon, from a scene of violence and anger to a haven for 46 children.
It is now rated outstanding by Ofsted, and Mr Cameron heaped praise on it in a speech in 2007, saying: "Imagine how much safer west London is because dozens of troubled five-year-olds didn't turn into troubled teenagers."
Rather than follow contemporaries into law, politics or the media - he and Mr Cameron were not close at Eton - Mr Taylor, 44, chose to work with some of London's most disruptive pupils. "When I first came in 2006 it was incredibly violent here," he said. "There was a lot of physical restraint. I got spat at."
The three- to 11-year-olds have conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and autistic spectrum disorders, and special educational needs. In his first months, plates of food would be thrown and it was common for teachers to restrain pupils who were kicking and biting. Mr Taylor would regularly have to remove his machine-washable suit after such incidents and collapse exhausted in the staffroom. He needed a new approach: "I thought one of the reasons children were getting themselves physically restrained was they actually wanted close physical contact with an adult. The way they went about that was to go up to an adult and kick them." He persuaded governors to back a policy of "positive touch".
"There's lots of contact now," said Mr Taylor. "It is part of people's jobs to give children a hug. It's quite difficult: you've got this big, scary 11-year-old who needs a hug because his mother wasn't around to do that when he was younger."
Guidance on teachers hugging pupils in most state schools is clear: don't. The Willows policy is strict: staff must ensure actions are not misinterpreted, and be aware of pupils' differing cultural values. But the approach has been so successful staff rarely resort to physical restraint.
Children now spend 10 or 15 minutes a day massaging each others' shoulders through their clothes.
Mr Taylor has written a book, Divas And Dictators, advising parents how to adapt his techniques to the home. He claims he and wife Lucy , 39, have found the methods work with their children - Ollie, eight, Iris, six, and Kit, three.
"Rapidly changing family structures, long work hours and a host of TV channels and computer games make life harder than ever for parents," he said. "Communal eating is fundamental. We eat toast together every day at school. Each class will sit with a tablecloth, china teapot and butter knife. We want our children to be able to walk into a pub and catch someone's eye and not say, 'What the f**k are you looking at?'"
Divas & Dictators by Charlie Taylor is published by Vermilion, at £10.99.
Mr Taylor's tips on good behaviour
TV and video games
The damage that can be caused by too much “screen time” is serious: “There are huge numbers of children with speech and language difficulties because you don't learn speech through looking at television, you learn it through interacting with other people.” Under-threes should watch “not more than 20 minutes” a day, five to seven-year-olds, a maximum of 45 minutes. For seven- to 10-year-olds, one hour should be the limit, with only 15 minutes spent on video games.
The six-to-one strategy
Technique used at The Willows: “We aim to give out six pieces of praise for every criticism.” Typically, small children get up to 80 instructions or tellings-off an hour. “By changing to praise, doing the right thing becomes the way to get noticed by your parents.”
Parents should offer realistic rewards and follow through on threatened punishments, or children soon learn to ignore threats and promises.
Letting children play
Too often parents try to turn play into an educational exercise, asking questions and giving directions. “If you let the child take the lead and give a child time when he feels in control, then the rest of the time he feels able to take directions from you. It's a different sort of play.”
Reader views (4)
Massaging shoulders is not weird at all... there is so much research out there showing how important on so many different levels appropriate (therapeutic) touch is! Staff are generally CRB checked, so one would hope that there is very little to no risk of abuse occurring there. What happens at home is non-related to what the school is trying to implement. Abuse will go on, no matter what the curriculum is.
Calming the children down is one thing, but being able to receive and give touch in a non-sensuous way is equally important (and may even prevent some cases of child abuse, as the child becomes aware of and understands the difference of what is and isn't appropriate! Something to consider maybe?).
The lack of touch, also known as cutaneous deprivation can lead to emotional disturbances, decreased intellectual ability and physical growth, and a weakened immune system.
Clearly Mr Taylor has the benefit of the size of his school, but if educational facilities could find a way of introducing some form of touch (hand massage maybe?) instead of reducing it even further by allowing schools to ban touch-tag etc... who knows, they may even be contributing to a reduction in aggression and youth crimes.
Instead of being terrified of any form of touch leading to child abuse, maybe it is time for everyone to stop running away from the issue and instead face and fight it by EDUCATING children - allowing them to understand that they can say NO!
- Cw, London, UK
I saw massage techniques being used as a regular part of the school day in Denmark during a British Council funded study trip in 2006. Teachers also encourage students to create 'massage stories' and so literacy is also developed. Stories included small finger flicking movements that in the 'story' were David Beckham scoring a goal, and wider smoothing movements of the hand that followed a ski story. Each student had a 'massage partner' for half a term, and so over several years students devlop close bonds. I was told that this technique also offered students protection against mobbing and bullying as 'those we touch and who touch us we don't harm'.
- Bonita Holland, London, UK
Fair enough but this is a special needs school which houses a whopping 43 pupils, that's almost the size of a state school class, and how many teachers are looking after them compared to the one present normally?
- Bob, Cheam
I think this is an admirable approach, and a lot of the basics follow the Montessori method. I do not hope though that the physical contact is not abused in any way, by staff or parents of children. How about getting the kids to do deep breathing, Tai Ji or yoga to calm them down? Massaging each others shoulders is the only bit that seems a bit weird. Well done though - credit to him and his staff.
- Smb, London, UK
