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Suicide of lawyer struggling to balance work and motherhood
28 Jul 2009A successful City lawyer drowned herself after struggling to balance the demands of motherhood and her high-pressure job, a coroner's court heard today.
Mother-of-three Catherine Bailey, 41, was found drowned in the Thames near Richmond Bridge in Twickenham in January.
The South African-born partner in a City law firm had only recently returned to work after the birth of her third daughter.
An inquest at West London coroner's court today was told how Ms Bailey's husband, Dr Neil Ashman, reported her missing after growing concerned when she did not return to their Islington home after work at SJ Berwin on 9 January. It followed a phone call from her to him at lunchtime.
Police launched a missing-person search after speaking to her employers. Officers found her credit card had been used to book a hotel room at the Thistle Hotel at the Barbican. However she was not found at the hotel and staff did not recall seeing her there.
Detective Sergeant Bernard McCabe, leading the search, told the court how Ms Bailey's mobile phone usage traced her movements to the Embankment that night and at Blackfriars the following morning heading west.
The text message, which was read out in court, said: “Richmond. I am so sorry. BK (big kiss). All my love to you and the girls. Hold them close.”
Ms Bailey, described as professionally “driven” and a “loving mother”, left behind three daughters under the age of six.
The youngest was six months old at the time of her death.
The lawyer, who specialised in complex financial litigation, had returned to work shortly before Christmas. Her husband, a kidney expert at the Royal London Hospital, told the coroner there was no warning his wife would take her own life.
Coroner Alison Thompson recorded a verdict of suicide and described the case as “absolutely tragic”.
She said: “Ms Bailey was a very capable and professional woman and loving mother of three young children who found it hard to meet the demands of motherhood with the high standards she had set for herself.
“It's probable she may have been suffering from a degree of post-natal depression.”
She joined SJ Berwin in 1995 and was promoted to partner in 2003.
Her employers described her as an exceptional lawyer.
Reader views (11)
We can not have it all! its so sad, we want a family, we want a career and we want a hugh salary. However to have all this, we pay a high price in our health. Mentally we can not cope, we dont communcate to any one how we feel. Society in the UK, makes you believe you can have it all. This story highlights the reality of life, the cold facts is you cant have it all!!
- Julie Harris, slough, 30/07/2009 22:16
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So sad that she couldn't tell people around her how she felt. Please mothers/mothers-to-be take the time out you need. No one's going to thank you for all your hard work when you're in the grave. You are in control of your own life, focus on what really matters and you'd be surprised how supportive life is. I took well over a year off and came back to a better job, salary and work conditions. Be braver than she was, focus on your own well being (and your child's).
- Martha, France, 29/07/2009 08:49
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Sympathy of course. She was human. But isn't it time that women in general stopped their materialist greed and recognised that this work/motherhood balance thing needs to be biased heavily towards the motherhood. And if colleagues or friends don't understand, stuff them. Dump the job, drop out. Topping yourself hardly produces balance!
- Sandy, Ealing, UK, 29/07/2009 08:33
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Well, the TV ads always show the women in control, if they`ve a headache so they just take a pill and get on with juggling their lives and their families - all "worth it", all sold a lie.
Motherhood is too important a vocation to dilute with work - breed from a decent partner, appropriate number of children for your budget and live within your means and all will flourish.
The lie that you can have it all is often exposed - yes, we may own more things but that only makes you more protective, more anxious - don`t be led by the slick marketeers less is more - you can`t buy back lost time.
- Darius, London UK, 29/07/2009 08:05
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What a tragedy. It should been so easy,even for a while, to give up her high-powered job and focus on her children. Bringing up children is the nobliest of professions. Unfortunately, many times it is compared with other professions and careers and comes out second.
Her children should have been her priority. So sorry for those little children now, left motherless.
- Venelle, LONDON, ENGLAND, 29/07/2009 00:58
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What the hell was she doing back at work after only six months? No job is worth that separation from a young baby: there's something wrong with the whole culture here.
- Mdj E10, london uk, 28/07/2009 22:24
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Terrible, how awful that she could see no way out and maybe didn't feel her colleagues would understand if she said she wanted to step back from the litigation work she was doing and do something permitting more time at home. A reminder what an inhuman place the City of London can seem as a working environment and the price exacted on human lives for the all-hours working culture we have in London.
- Tom, London, 28/07/2009 17:06
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The greatest achievement of the globalists is in convincing women they can "balance" a career with motherhood. Women have been inculcated with unreasonable expectations of material wealth combined with maternal efficacy. What a wheeze!
- Neil, London, London UK, 28/07/2009 17:04
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How utterly awful. I feel so sorry that she was not able to seek help for feeling so bad and pressurised. It does sound like untreated/diagnosed PND. 6 months is no length of time for maternity leave, and to have a high powered job and three young children is just far too much responsibilty. My heart goes out to her three girls who will never know their wonderful Mother.
- Smb, London, UK, 28/07/2009 16:42
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Sadly it looks like classic post-natal depression, treatable but not always diagnosed. Tragic.
- James Macleod Ritchie, Oyster Bay Cove, 28/07/2009 15:29
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How awful: modern motherhood is an incredibly stressful and lonely business - this poor woman was doing 2 unbelievably difficult jobs at once and mistakenly thought she wasn't doing them well enough. PND is not necessarily the answer: many women find it hard to cope but think they are alone. My thoughts are with her family.
- Roz, France, 28/07/2009 14:58
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