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They've got more nerve than an army of Bear Grylls. And they make no allowances for postcodes, size of property or the housekeeping habits of those with whom they wish to reside.
Mice in the capital discriminate against no one. They love us all and are as much a part of our urban landscape as those foxes who long ago left the country in search of a better life.
It was recently revealed that James Palumbo, the multi-millionaire founder of the Ministry of Sound, shares his plush South Kensington flat with a family of mice. This was news to him until an interviewer spotted a little fellow darting underneath his sofa — and I suspect that by now he's declared war.
Which, of course, is futile. The battle against mice in London is as unwinnable as the war to rid Afghanistan of those Taliban rodents hiding in the mountains. Exact figures are hard to come by but pest control agencies all agree that the mouse population is on the rise. What's more, they're developing a chemical resistance to many of the poisons used to control their numbers.
I speak as a veteran of several ill-fated campaigns, the last of which came to a close this week when my wife and I withdrew all our troops and agreed to power-share with these relatively harmless household creatures. We had done our bit, investing considerable sums of money and deploying every weapon known to man. And lost.
Last winter, we were shocked on seeing our first mouse scampering across the spotlessly clean granite worktop, followed a little later by a couple of his friends playing hide and seek behind the bin. We summoned the council and agreed to pay £95 for three poison-laying visits.
The smell of death soon permeated the house but it didn't stop a second wave (a female mouse normally has eight litters per year, producing four to seven pups each time) or a third and a fourth.
Then a man called Phil put a leaflet through the door, offering to “proof” the house by blocking up even the tiniest of holes. He came, saw and promised to conquer, but despite all the gab he retreated with little to show for his £110. After that, we took matters into our own hands. We tried conventional traps (mainly Cheddar); plug-in repellents (£34.50 a gizmo) that send ultrasonic frequencies around the skirting boards; disposable revolver mouse traps (“they check in but don't check out”); Advanced Killer Box contraptions (Peter Jones does a nice line in these) and, as a more peaceful deterrent, mint tea bags, which they are meant to hate.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, my wife — who was so offended that her housekeeping was being called into question that she was soon washing the kitchen floor three times a day and putting the apples and bananas behind bars at night — arrived home with six packs of Big Cheese Mouse Glue Traps, described on the label as “the last resort”. Too true.
These deadly devices are simply comprised of strips of card laced with baited super-glue. The mice run over them and get stuck. “Despatch captured mice quickly and humanely,” say the instructions. Which is impossible. The first morning, I came down to find a mouse twitching furiously and as I bashed it on the head it gave out a high-pitched squeak.
That was it. We are now determined not to take umbrage about our permanent lodgers. They are with us in the same way that our twentysomething children are with us and will remain so until such time as they decide to move out. Which will not be any time soon. Because they like it here.
Reader views (5)
They are not harmless, they constantly wee (not nice for work surfaces where we prepare food) and chew electrical cabling causing house fires. I decided not to block every hole for the reason that I could still here them in the cavity and worried about electrical faults and purchased a device called the electronic mouse killer With four batteries you bait the contraption and when a mouse decides to visit it receives an electrical shock and is quickly killed. Having spent approx £200 (including costs to the council who should provide this service to help control the problem) this has been the only thing that has helped to control them. Many might think this is inhumane but it's not nice living with vermin especially when you have children. One good point is that if you have mice you shouldn't have rats
- Marie, London
it is winnable...fill every hole and crevice in your property with wirewool and expanding foam, and buy a sonic device AS WELL... i did all that...NO MICE!
- Daveb, london
I had a mouse problem, sorted it by putting everything away and cleaning the surfaces everyday. Put down some old fashioned traps with small amounts of meat from left over Mexican meal (they preferred Discovery's range!) killed about eight of the blighters! I suspect I might have killed speedy gonzalle's extended family though. The alternative is just to get cats.
- Ian, London
Get a couple of Cats and don't feed them for few days...
Or send in some Jack Russells (might make a mess of your skirting board though)
- Shelly, London
Where's your fighting spirit? If Churchill had that attitude we'd all be speaking German by now!
- S T G, London
