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Pressure was too much for him, says mother of hanged Oxford student
Felix Allen16 Oct 2009
A mother told of her heartbreak today after her student son committed suicide at Oxford University because of the pressure to get a first-class degree.
John Ddungu, 20, was found hanged in his room at Lady Margaret Hall four days after a meeting with his tutors, who were concerned about his work.
Today his mother Gladys May Kavuma, 51, told the Standard how her only son had put enormous pressure on himself to score top grades and in the end it was "just too much".
The social worker from South Norwood said: "To lose my only son like this is devastating. John was my best friend. He was honest, kind, a perfect gentleman.
"He was also an achiever, and knew exactly what he wanted. He could do anything he put his mind to.
"I was so proud of him. He was a great role model for young black men in London. I never pushed him but he took every opportunity and grabbed it with both hands. He had high expectations for himself and his future success was guaranteed."
Ms Kavuma, originally from Uganda, was a single mother on a modest wage but saved hard to send her son to private schools, first Whitgift in Croydon, where he was a prefect, and then Christ's Hospital School in Sussex.
He gained 13 A*s at GCSE and four As at A-level, winning a place to study chemistry at Oxford. In the weeks before his death he had spoken of changing course or leaving the college, saying his work left him little time for socialising and other activities. But neither his mother nor his friends guessed he was suicidal.
"I thought the pressure was just too much for him. He was missing other things in life.
"He came home a week before he died and we talked about his options. But he was always determined to be a success, to get the top grades, and said he would carry on.
"I think there is something missing at Oxford. All the students are high achievers but when they get there they find the work is harder than they thought and the pressure to get a first is very strong."
She said universities should do more to help struggling students.
An inquest heard this week how the second-year student, who had been on his way to a 2:1 degree, was found in his room in February.
Earlier that week, Mr Ddungu had been called in to a meeting with his tutors as he had failed to complete an assignment. They thought he had a "touch of the blues" but had no idea he was suicidal.
A suicide verdict was recorded.
Reader views (7)
This truly terrible. I relate to the sorry. I didn't (of course) commit suicide but I was suicidal at Oxford and called into the same meetings, which I found quite intimidating and pointless, since they were so close to our examinations (there wasn't time to improve my work). I hadn't done the essays for some tutorials (which I was told were optional because it was postgrad.). At the very minute they decided that they had a problem with this because I wasn't that vocal.
They didn't raise this at a helpful time in year, just left me struggling with depression. As a consequence, I went 'crazy' during the exams and flunked them (virtually no revision). I was 'mentally ill' really. I appealed and received a second chance. However, the university was extremely unsupportive about my return and made life difficult. True the way that they treated me caused behavioural problems. Nobody had a bad word for me before or since.
I now have several gaps on my CV, it damaged me. One of their professors had encouraged me to apply to Oxford knowing that I had depression (which he encouraged me to tell him about) and wrote my reference. He didn't tell any one of this involvement with me. He befriended me online.
It's made a mess of my life. The university have nothing to say other than 'he did nothing wrong'. When I had a job tutoring before I got even more unwell, I wasn't allowed to befriend vulnerable people online.
Oxford needs changing.
- Laura, Yorkshire, 30/01/2012 12:02
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i am a student at the secondary school he attended. It is a very sad case indeed. And Pete how can you say such a comment. Not eveerybody copes well to pressure that doesn't change whether or not they are the 'very best of students'..
- Louise, peckham england, 19/10/2009 22:48
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Pete - i went to school with John Ddungu and can say he was one the of brightest people i have ever met in my life. For you to make such an ignorant comment, clearly shows the life that you have been living. John was easily capable of working at Oxford - it seems the tutor 'system' which is designed to help pupils which are finding the strains and stresses associated with university life clearly wasn't good enough. I suggest you take a long look at your life before you make such ill judged comments. Maybe you should try going to one of these 'redbrick' colleges yourself.
- Carlisle Baker-Jackson, London, 19/10/2009 22:38
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@ Sarahn, London, UK
Yes, let's dumb down educational standards. Vote Labour.
- Frank, Home Counties, England., 16/10/2009 13:33
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What an incredibly patronising comment from Pete. I don't doubt, given Mr Kavuma's previous exam results, that he was capable of a first.
Some students put more pressure on themselves to achieve than others. And those with parents who have saved & sacrificed a lot for their education often pressure themselves most keenly.
My heart goes out to Mrs Kavuma - I can only imagine the devastation she must feel.
- Giustina, London, 16/10/2009 12:10
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It's about time someone blew the lid on the ridiculous 'workload' heaped on students at Oxford and Cambridge. Most of it is 'makework'designed to keep students producing 2 essays a week, for no good reason. The tutorials system is also a scam designed to attract greater government funding without any demonstration of its value. Other universities produce excellent graduates without this terrible pressure, and often produce better students who have had the time to read and think rather than produce pointless written work.
This is a very sad story, and my sympathies are with Mrs. Kavuma.
How many more young people will kill themselves before something changes?
- Sarahn, London, UK, 16/10/2009 10:56
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EDITED by admin @ 15.47 on October 29 2009
Breach of community guidelines
- Pete, Banstead, Surrey, 16/10/2009 10:31
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