Morning:
5°c
It would have to be the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital, wouldn't it, that was revealed as having the highest proportion of women delivering by caesarean section: 33.3 per cent of births, more than double that in Nottingham and significantly higher than the English average of 24.6 per cent.
Chelsea: you imagine brittle blondes in white jeans, their hospital bags full of Diptyque candles and Kelly Hoppen pillows, demanding their yummy tummies be cut so that their front bottoms are saved for pleasuring their banker husbands.
By its own admission, the figures from Chelsea and Westminster Hospital are inflated by its private wing, where those too posh to push languish.
But since they have paid some £12,000 for the privilege, and are not, therefore, depleting NHS funds, then what's the problem? There are worse things in life than wanting to preserve the youthful state of your ladybox — particularly if you are paying for it.
Let's get one thing straight: away from the small and rarefied world of the private maternity ward, elective C-sections are hard won.
Under NHS care, you don't get one if you are merely “scared”, “over 40” or have a friend who was left incontinent by a botched delivery.
If you want one, you have to have a bloody good reason, such as a previous labour so long and hideous that you may feel you are scarred for life.
If you haven't been through a long, distressing labour, you have no right to judge any woman who has.
Everyone's capacity for pain is different. Sadly, there still seems to be a vast number of women (and men) who consider you a coward if you haven't managed a vaginal birth. This seems like the sickest, most pointless form of oneupmanship: I did it, so why can't you?
Yet again, the “too posh to push” brigade have become the focus, obscuring what is a far more important debate: why emergency caesareans are on the increase.
Of the 155,000 caesareans in 2008/09, only 10 per cent were elective. Significantly, London trusts had the highest rate of emergency caesareans.
There are several issues at play here, none of which is discussed openly. First, women are getting fatter.
Second, babies are getting bigger. And third, the level of one-to-one care in London hospitals is the worst in the country.
In most cases, these operations are carried out to save either the baby's life or the mother's. I wish I'd had a choice about how my daughter was born, but fate had other plans.
Every woman has a right to choose, but sadly, not every woman gets to.
Rather than grudging those who do, surely we should celebrate the luxury of choice in an age where giving birth is the safest it has ever been. A baby is a baby, however it arrives. Every baby is a miracle and every mother is a hero.
Not Xactly what Simon Xpected
After years of having to suffer the manufactured pop churned out by The X Factor, are music lovers about to get the last laugh?
The latest word is that John and Edward Grimes (henceforth commonly known as Jedward, though I prefer The Tone Deaf Twins) are so popular with the viewing public that they are actually in with a chance of winning the competition.
Whoever coined the phrase “pop will eat itself” was a wiser man than he knew, for truly, Frankenstein's monster is ready to feast on the bones of his creator.
If Jedward win The X Factor, it is a disaster for Simon Cowell, discrediting the programme's reputation.
Cheryl and Dannii have already been rebuked for spending too long on their looks (Cowell reportedly fumed “this is a talent show, not a fashion show”) — but is it?
Whatever control-freak Cowell might wish, the ugly truth is that The X Factor is whatever the public makes it. And at the moment, you wouldn't bet against it being a laughing stock.
Jacko stalks the city on Saturday night
Is it the recession that is causing Londoners to fling themselves so lustily into Halloween this year?
Walking past my local fancy dress shop, Escapade, last night, the queue was round the block, with the store operating a “two in, two out” policy.
It brought back happy memories of a Halloween party we once had, back in the child-free days. Never mind the bucket of lethal punch: there is no better ice-breaker than a silly costume.
I went as Marilyn Manson Monroe, but the best one was Dead Coco Chanel, followed by Jilted Vampire Bride With Knife In Neck.
Escapade's most popular Halloween costumes this year are, inexplicably, Red Riding Hood for women and (less inexplicably) Michael Jackson for men. So now you know.
It's the end of my love affair with ladybirds
A ladybird just flew in my window. I know: my life really is too exciting.
Ladybirds being all cute and shiny, I usually let them roam bumpily over the hairs on my arm before setting them gently outside.
But I'd read the Daily Mail, and knew that this wasn't just a harmless red creature with black dots but a Vile-Smelling Foreign Ladybird that would emit a noxious yellow odour before eating my carpet, my laptop and my very life, leaving me destitute and penniless in the street.
Quashing the thought that the Harlequin ladybird is an elaborate hoax dreamed up by the British National Party, I summoned the recycled kitchen roll and squashed the bastard. You can't be too careful these days.
Reader views (1)
I have given birth twice - my 9lb 4 oz daughter was pushed out almost easily and with no agony at all. Her size was not a negative either during her birth or during her babyhood. My second daughter was a placenta praevia so I had no option but to have a C. section. This is a major abdominal operation and I can never understand any woman choosing such a possibly unnecessary experience. But I entirely agree the birthing experience can be a pleasure if the people caring for the mother are competent, friendly and supportive.
- Jennifer Stone, St Genis Pouilly, France, 29/10/2009 10:10
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