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A newspaper columnist and mentor of mine always gave short thrift to critics who asked how he would like to be on the receiving end of ill-informed opinion and knockabout abuse.
He responded patiently that dishing it out was not the same thing at all as taking it, and we should never confuse the two skills.
It is a wisdom illuminated by our national treasure Stephen Fry.
He has raised internet armies against enemies such as the Daily Mail with his Twitter oratory but there has been a whiff of mutiny.
Fry threatened to retire but now promises to return to Twitter so long as there are no further attacks on him from within the ranks.
No matter that the criticism of Fry was pretty mild compared with his own stern rhetoric.
Fry wrote of the offending Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir that she was "a repulsive nobody writing in a paper no one of any decency would be seen dead with".
By comparison, the unfortunate blogger, brumplum, was diffident in his grievances against Fry: "I understand Stephen Fry's tweets but, much as I admire and adore the chap, they are a bit boring (sorry, Stephen)."
Sorry indeed. After Fry renounced Twitter because it had become too brutal a medium, his friends had a word with brumplum.
Alan Davies, Fry's television co-star, called brumplum a "moron" and a "wanker". Anyone who supported brumplum was a "tosser" and a "dickhead". Such is the poetry of Twitter.
The discord in Twitterland suggests two things. The first is that Stephen Fry is better suited to dishing it out than taking it.
I noticed this when I watched him attack the Catholic church as "sexual degenerates" at the recent Intelligence Squared debate.
The benignly faced Archbishop of Nigeria flinched but he knew better than to retaliate and I understand that he and Fry shared an amicable dinner after the event.
We have to accept, as I hope brumplum now understands, that some people in public life - Stephen Fry, Alan Bennett, Judi Dench, Vince Cable - are there to be loved, not argued with.
It is true that they all have sharp tongues at times but an unwritten constitution demands that this is not a reciprocal arrangement.
The second lesson of the Fry Twitter affair is that he has glimpsed the true nature of the Twitterverse.
The same people who are aiding Iranian protesters or trapped climbers are capable of turning on some blameless actress and calling her a dirty slapper.
There is hysteria at the heart of Twitter because it is a cross-section of humankind. As was said of the civilian populations of mainland Europe during the Second World War, you see the best and worst of humanity and sometimes people are good and bad at the same time.
Giving up your chair can be costly
The vale of tears that is The X Factor claimed a new victim on Saturday when Dannii Minogue reportedly stormed out after the show because she was moved to the end of the judges' bench.
Simon Cowell tires of his women quicker than Henry VIII and he wants Cheryl Cole at his side.
The positioning of a chair may seem a small thing but it is a vital indication of power. How we all laughed when Gordon Brown could not find his seat at the Sarkozy state banquet, causing the Queen to cry: "Is my Prime Minister lorst?"
I once attended a prosaic office budget meeting when I was eight months pregnant. There was no seat at the table, and I watched a senior colleague wrestle with himself.
To give me his chair might look chivalrous but it would also be a fatal ceding of power. In the end, he sat tight. Dannii should fight to hang on to her chair.
Bullies and the Bloody Tower
The first female yeoman warder at the Tower of London claims that she has become a victim of a bullying campaign by some disgruntled male colleagues.
It is bad behaviour from the men - but they may not be fully aware of the current climate of equal opportunities.
The last time I visited the Tower of London it was because a young soldier invited me to watch the Ceremony of the Keys.
The Chief Warder appears in a long coat and Tudor bonnet, carrying a lantern. There is a ceremonial walk to Traitor's Gate and the Bloody Tower.
The exchange is on the lines of: "Who goes there?" "The keys." "Whose keys?" "Queen Elizabeth's keys." "Pass Queen Elizabeth's keys. All's well."
The scene was more Hilary Mantel than Harriet Harman. The female yeoman has been ill used - but at least she has not been sent to the Bloody Tower.
• An undercover investigation by anti-vivisectionists has shown mice and rabbits are being mistreated during experiments with a form of Botox.
Rabbits are immobilised and end up with punctured ears from failed attempts at injections.
I'm sorry to hear it, although I am sure women would submit to such pain and lack of dignity for the sake of their complexions.
It is interesting that the experiments are taking place years after women embraced untried botulism toxins that were intended for bioterrorist attacks.
Reader views (1)
Vince Cable is there to be loved, not argued with? Are there any other MPs that occupy this hallowed position on Planet Sands? Back down here on Earth we tend to think that arguing their case is what politicians are for.
- Raphael, London, 04/11/2009 08:45
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