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As Lord Northcliffe observed: when dog bites man, it isn't news; when man bites dog, it is. Similarly, when old men go out with younger women, it's business as usual; when women go out with younger men, it's a talking point.
According to a survey of women in their forties and fifties by an online dating agency, more than a third said they would date a younger man. (You might ask whether anyone would bother to ask men of similar age whether they would rather have a younger girlfriend?)
Still, it goes to show that the generation gap isn't insurmountable and where Joan Collins leads, any number of women follow.
An age gap within couples can rouse prejudice all round. Women react coldly to men with younger girlfriends, possibly because it confirms our instinctive suspicion that this is what most men would like, given the chance. It undermines us.
A friend who went out with a girl of 27 when he was 58 had to put up with ribald comments from women asking if she'd reached puberty yet.
Comedian Frank Skinner recalled that when he was 30 and went out with a student his female friends took a dim view. He maintained it was her character he fell for.
But they persisted in asking what they talked about. He should have said that talk wasn't the point of the relationship, and watched his friends combust before his eyes.
Undoubtedly, women take a more tolerant view of females who go out with younger men: the tables, we feel, can be turned. Artist Sam Taylor Wood, 42, has just got engaged to a beautiful actor of 19, Aaron Johnson.
She's been through cancer; she probably doesn't give a hoot what anyone thinks. There are other inspiring examples.
Tilda Swinton looks much better matched with her present companion - actor Sandro Kopp, 17 years her junior - than she did with her previous, older boyfriend.
Vivienne Westwood never seems to notice the 25-year age difference with her third husband, Andreas Kronthaler; for his part, he says that he invariably fancies her more than any woman in the room.
But these are women who seem happy in themselves. They look like they're acting their age in taking up with a younger man. It's when you fight against biology that the whole thing seems less edifying.
This paper yesterday reported a surge in the number of women with younger boyfriends looking for fertility treatments.
Going through repeated bouts of IVF using younger women's gametes so as to play at mummies and daddies looks like a sad bid to avoid the realities of age.
Fortuitously, Penguin will shortly be issuing as a modern classic that admirable novel by the Hungarian writer Stephen Vizinczey, In Praise of Older Women.
Like it says, it's a celebration of the relationship between younger men and older women. "Modern culture - American culture - glorifies the young," he wrote.
"In the lost continent of old Europe it was the affair of the young man and his older mistress that had the glamour of perfection."
In the society he came from, young men habitually mixed with several generations; they valued the "wisdom and sensibility" of the older mistress.
If you look at it that way, women taking up with young men seems like perfect sense.
Reader views (2)
Is it `cause she’s "worth it"?
(And ,in the picture at least actually LOOKS quite young.)
Y`know, women have always been infatuated with "outer beauty", (although they always tell each other it`s what`s inside that counts!) but today’s saturated media infested with endless varieties of trash mags, makeover shows and catch phrase and airbrush ridden daft ads on TV relentlessly peddling the " look yoof-ful or yuk" message will only ensure one thing - those who despise the thought of growing old will one day look in the mirror and surely despise themselves.
For if sex appeal means everything to you, then when you lose that you lose everything!
Not a very PRETTY thought, is it ladies?
- Darius, London UK, 11/11/2009 08:14
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Just wanted to let you know I really enjoyed your article today, its so true! I am divorced, and have been seeing a lovely younger guy for over a year with 25yrs difference between us and we get along great! I never realised it until recently but I have always preferred men younger than me. I am 49 and find men of my age or above are just too boring and set in their ways, and also let the baggage of the past affect them in the future. My guy is cool and easy to get on with and has a similar sense of humour to me which is great and very important, so we have a lot of fun. Plus of course there is the obvious advantages to enjoying a fantastic sex life with someone who loves to please you and has lots of stamina!! I love it, and am finding more and more of my friends and women I meet are finding the same. As you said in your article, men have been doing this for years without any comment....ladies its our turn! Go girls....x
Julie
- Julie, Guildford, Surrey, 10/11/2009 18:08
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