Morning:
3°c
Already, Londoners are coming up with snappy new monikers for the Circle line, which will cease to be a circle on 13 December.
"Tadpole", "teacup" and "yo-yo" line have already been suggested, but how about "complete pain for anyone living in north or east London" line?
Admittedly, it's not very snappy, but since your journey is now guaranteed to be long-winded, it may as well have a name to match.
Transport for London claims that "the Circle line won't just go round and round any more", as though current users were under the illusion that they were on some sort of joyful merry-go-round, a candyfloss clutched in one hand.
If this is the most positive spin TfL can put on the new Circle line - that it won't go round and round - then we really are in trouble.
Sure enough, a cursory glance at the new, non-circular line timetable reveals that changing at Edgware Road will no longer be optional, but mandatory for anyone wanting to continue their journey west.
"You might have to change at Edgware Road but this will often be step-free," trills the TFL website. Excuse me? If you want to get to Notting Hill, High Street Kensington or Victoria, there's no "might" about it. And note the use of the word "often".
I'm sure the city's 1.4 million inhabitants who are registered disabled or blind, not to mention those with buggies or heavy luggage (let's not forget that the drunk squiggle line serves the mainline stations King's Cross and Liverpool Street) will be delighted by the news that, at intervals decided entirely on TfL's whim, they will now have to navigate two sets of stairs if they want to travel on from Edgware Road.
Never mind, though: the TfL website has a brilliant solution for those wanting to sojourn west and avoid stairs: change at King's Cross on to the Piccadilly line, get off at Earl's Court and walk. Simples!
Of course, there is an easier solution. It's called a lift. But installing lifts at Edgware Road would be heinously expensive, particularly when you consider that they would have to be the size of aircraft hangars to cope with the number of commuters.
At peak times, the narrow platforms are already dangerously full: this volume will increase substantially once the mandatory line change comes into effect.
Edgware Road is already the most depressing Tube station in London: I can't be the only person to have noticed that even in high summer it maintains a bleak and icy chill that could tempt even the happiest City dweller to move to the country and make jam.
The Circle of hell was injurious enough, but the squiggle of Satan will be worse.
Cutting remark
Now that St Cheryl of Oxshott has come under so much fire for using hair extensions, perhaps she'll have enough incentive to ditch them.
Although the mystery isn't so much why she wears them to promote L'Oréal Elvive shampoo, but why she wears them at all.
Hair extensions are vile: whatever the rest of your body is doing, your head will always look cheap, like some chavvy Barbie doll.
Given her patronage of cutting-edge designers, whose clothes she likes to wear on The X Factor, Cheryl is clearly keen to appear a cut above a chavvy Barbie doll.
It was only when Victoria Beckham ditched the hair extensions that she began to be taken seriously by the fashion industry: not only did her clothing line take off, but she looked much better, too.
A beautiful girl like Cheryl really doesn't need these synthetic affectations — save them for Katie Price.
Wholesome . . . and make it wholesale
My Ocado order was two hours late, with not even a courtesy call to inform me.
Consequently, I had to have a minging lunch of baked potato without cheese, like a person on a diet.
I'm fascinated by Ocado, so the interesting chat I had with the driver when he eventually arrived in a flurry of apologies went some way to making up for my dry lunch.
Apparently, he was late because he'd been delivering to lots of different offices in central London.
“Why would people get their groceries delivered to their office when they'd still have to carry everything home?” I asked.
“It's for their lunch,” said David. “They get crates of Evian, things to make sandwiches ... all sorts.
They must have staff kitchens or something to make it all up in.” Ye gods. The credit crunch must be worse than we thought. No wonder my local sandwich shop is looking so empty.
Reader views (3)
Disagree entirely on Edgware Road. I lived a couple of minutes walk away for a decade. The staff were the friendliest on the system and Eileen's Garden won awards many years running.Its a classic cut and cover station and not at all "depressing". If you want depressing try Colindale.
- Londonlover, London
My neighbours' Tesco Direct delivery was late ... we found the delivery man about two hours later - he'd fallen into the ditch trying to look at house names in the dark and was unable to move with a badly sprained ankle. It took a while to pull him out, but at least the neighbours got their delivery charge knocked off!
- Paul, London
For Londoners the real fun on the circle line has been the panic on the face of tourists and outsiders when the trains stop in tunnels particulary at the Aldgate tri-angle waiting for an unseen train on the Metropolitan or District lines to clear the points. Also as a child to go from King Cross to Euston Square on the outer circle instead of the inner one!
As for getting to Victoria from north east London well you just travel round the other way!
As for Notting Hill Gate etc it was suggested that the 205 be extended west from Paddington to provide an alternative. However, Boris being Mayor has lead to this route being extended at its eastern end instead!
Anyway I thought all those who live in west london only use cars for thats the impression the West London Residents Association gives!
As for lifts at Edgware Road - this subsurface station is open air and could easily be made step free problem is Boris has spent the money on bikes and an historic bus.
While his new consultation document must be the biggest waste of money ever given it goes on about the HISTORY of London and yet has no plans for its FUTURE!
- Melvyn Windebank, Canvey Island, Essex
