Afternoon:
15°c
I cycle to work most days. Given the battle between bike and car, those six words should have drivers poised to type vitriolic emails against egotistical velocipedes.
But my complaint is not with most motorists. Not today, anyway.
It lies instead with a menacing minority who believe a woman on two wheels is an invitation to shout obscenities or to cop a feel. Whether biking in pursuit of a perkier posterior, to protect the planet or to preserve their pounds, the female rider can expect to be ogled and objectified often.
Staring is the passive manifestation of this behaviour. Then there is the honking, the blowing of air kisses, the gesticulating, the hollering, and, worst, the groping. Strangers have pinched, slapped and squeezed my bottom as I cycled.
The bells on our bikes are much like Pavlov's then, except that it isn't dogs that are salivating as they sound, but strange men. What is mystifying is that you don't even have to be committing that common fashion faux pas — showing your knickers as you ride along — to attract this unwanted attention.
Of course, no female attire should be interpreted as an indication that women are fair game for a grope. But from the reaction I receive, I might as well be trussed up like a dancer at the Moulin Rouge.
When I cycle, I wear long T-shirts and three-quarter-length running trousers. I may be sweaty and in Lycra but there any similarity ends between me and the thong-clad models performing aerobics suggestively in the video for Eric Prydz's Call On Me. So what should I be donning to avoid the pervy eyes and jeers? I fear a burka might catch in the chain.
It isn't just cyclists who suffer, of course. My evenings training for the London Marathon earlier this year were peppered with lewd comments from stopped cars. At least then, though, I could just turn up my iPod to drown them out.
It seems that by being outside — shock, horror — exercising, women are deemed a target for this treatment.
One of the additionally irksome elements of this behaviour is the justification that sometimes comes with it. Recently, I made my anger known to a tush-touching motorcyclist. His response? “One day, no one will chat you up any more.” Bring me wrinkles faster, then.
This November, I will spend a Saturday night on a rally campaigning against sexual harassment at London's annual Reclaim the Night march. It isn't just the night we need to reclaim but the road too.
In the meantime, I have a message for one particular Van Man who tried a crude — and unoriginal — line on me at the traffic lights yesterday: just because I'm riding my bike doesn't mean I would ever want to do the same to you.
Why I can't wait for winter
A consolation as summer approaches its close is what the colder months will bring for the wardrobe.
By August, it is hard even for the most ardent of fashion's fans to maintain their excitement for strappy tops and shorts. Winter, by contrast, offers a veritable fashion feast, and the clothes have rarely been more exciting than they are this year.
Hanging up in my wardrobe is the aviator jacket that I have lusted after since February when it trotted down the catwalk at Burberry Prorsum. My purse wouldn't stretch that far, so mine is by the Swedish label Acne, which will make its London Fashion Week debut in September. I haven't even been on my summer holiday yet, but I am desperately hankering for winter and the chance to wear it.
A gift for being engaged? That is just greed
The continued popularity of wedding lists is surely an anachronism. Since marriage rarely now entails a move from the parental abode into a first home together, the only remaining role they have is in keeping Johnny Lulus booming.
Many couples about to enter holy matrimony are using them simply to upgrade their spoons.
But that is nothing compared with the cheekiness and, yes, greediness, of “engagement lists”. Before you can go to the betrothal bash of an acquaintance of mine, you have to pick a present from their page on the John Lewis website: anything from Dartington tumblers to a Le Creuset casserole dish.
A cynical friend suggested the engagement is just an elaborate ploy for freebies. I think it is fairly safe to assume that we wouldn't be given our gifts back if the pair never made it to the altar.
Feel the thrill of the guillotine
The National Theatre's production of Danton's Death proves that the stage can still trump the screen for special effects.
Given its title or even the most cursory knowledge of revolutionary France, I feel that I won't be ruining the ending by saying the guillotine plays a major part. And it is done so skilfully that I had to close my eyes after the blade fell for the first time.
If it had been on television, it would have been a hide-behind-the-sofa moment. Everyone I know who has seen the play has asked the same question: “How on earth did they do that?”
There is plenty else to admire about Danton's Death: from the script to Elliot Levey's Robespierre, who is clearly suffering from short-man syndrome. But for sheer theatrical delight, nothing beats the guillotine.
Reader views (10)
The comments on here are really depressing. This is not an attempt by Rosamund to big-up how hot she is.
For the unenlightened I'll make two points:
a) hot women do not deserve to be constantly pinched, harrassed or groped anyway and
b) The scale of this problem is massive. The men on here saying 'I don't do that and I never see it happen' are blissfully unaware of how much it goes on. I'm glad you don't do it, but you wouldn't witness it either because the men who do it, do it to lone women.
It happens ALL the time, to every woman I've ever met. I don't know any women in London who haven't had sexual comments yelled at them on the street, inappropriate comments whispered at them as they walk by, or been grabbed or groped at some point on the streets of London.
- Ronia, London, 21/10/2010 17:47
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The attempts to make light of this situation just highlights the stupidity and the lack of understanding some people have.
Uninvited touching, groping, pinching etc is assault. Sexual assault.
It is specious reasoning to then turn around and suggest "you're no looker" because this is never about the looks, its about the power and the gratification obtained.
- DJC, Hampshire, 14/08/2010 22:48
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I can totally sympathise with Rosamund. As a smokin' hot male, I am constantly harassed by totally hot babes who think it perfectly acceptable to shake their booties in my face and grope my amazing body as I walk down the street. It disgusts me, and I frequently vomit down my rippling six pack. It has got me down so much that I often lay awake at night, stroking my rock hard guns, contemplating ending it all. Then, these inspirational words from Rosamund. To know that an utterly average looking girl suffers as much as me is a rare comfort in this cruel, cruel world.
- Annoyed pedestrian, London, 13/08/2010 16:05
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In the interest of equality between the sexes, I volunteer my bottom to be slapped and squeezed by any woman when they see me cycling.
- Celery, London, 13/08/2010 10:51
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Rosamund, when a pervy look turns into physical contact, it becomes a sexual assault. I can't think of anything more stupid than someone committing such an offence when driving a vehicle with a registration mark. Why don't you just report them?
FWIW, I never understood the fascination with pinching anyway.....
- George, London, 13/08/2010 09:06
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Rosamund Urwin - again you have another bash at the institution of marriage. Some may do it for commercial purposes others still believe in the sanctity of marriage. I do not live with my fiance as we believe in no sex before marriage. It will be a joyful moment when we do tie the knot, it will be well worth waiting for I can assure you. And when we move into our new house we really will benefit from the gifts! I'll send you my list......
On the flip side of that you might want to think about jesus as we are commanded to see you as a sister and not a subject of lustful thoughts. Easy to fall by the wayside but there is a lot of good stuff in that book!
- Lanfranc, London, 12/08/2010 22:51
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After reading your article my eyes rolled so far back in was unbelievable! Was this article written purely for flattery puposes?? I'm getting quite tired of the stero type that guys are just drooling sex starved zombies running after anything ringing a bell. I've been walking london streets for years and the only think I notice from cyclist is the torrent of abuse I get for walking across a pedistrian crossing. In your article you make it sound like you were riding a 1950's era bike with a flower basket in the top, and an man magnet fitted to the handlebars. I can't say that i've ever felt the each to pinch a female cyclists bottom, only the puzzling feeling that they look like a strangely androginous version of bob the builder, usually they've cycled far off into the distance before I can figure out if it was a male of female cyclist.
Spare a thought for guys cycling who i've seen groups of woman point and laugh "He's FIT!!!"
As with cycling on roads, it's a two way street.
Ahh I feel better now,
Steve - Londoner
- Steve T, London, England, 12/08/2010 18:48
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@Not interested-
I fear you're the one who wants the attention.
...back on topic. This is something I too have noticed - though I am a fella. I know of one or two women who have been molested, and that is what has happened to you, Rosamund, whilst riding the bike.
On the CTC forum I read of a lady who had been grabbed at speed by the passenger of a car, nearly making her crash. Plates were taken down and a female officer she'd spoken to seemed to think that a call from an Officer over sexual assualt was in line. I think the passenger and driver now have a sex offence on their record. That'll help them with future employment.
Lastly I will say that the motorcyclist will probably end up meeting someone's husband is less than cordial circumstances if he acts like that.
Fellas really should act like Gentlemen! Rather than the chav dole-scum I see fellow men act like in this modern age.
- DJC, Hampshire, 12/08/2010 16:31
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i wish somebody would pinch my bottom occasionaly
- unattractive male cyclist, london, 12/08/2010 16:22
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".. the female rider can expect to be ogled and objectified often."
Don't flatter yourself.
- Not interested in self obsessed females, Purley, 12/08/2010 11:58
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