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Schoolchildren bullied over their sexuality are being advised by teachers to act "less gay," it emerged today.
The shocking claim has been made by pupils in a report on bullying in schools in Essex.
Teenagers who are picked on for their appearance told how they were advised to wear their hair differently if they wanted to avoid being teased.
The document also reveals teachers are insensitive to the needs of bullied youngsters and claims some educators had received "very little" training in dealing with the challenges they face.
The "Anti-Bullying Work" report, based on evidence gathered from more than 250 teachers and pupils, has been compiled by Essex County Council.
The author of the report, Julie Keating, stated there was "anecdotal evidence of students being told to act less gay or to wear their hair differently as teachers felt they were making themselves a target for bullies".
The report says: "Teachers received very little training at college around bullying and most would welcome additional support and guidance. The school where the "act less gay" comments were made is not named, but the council has called on teachers to think hard about their advice.
According to the Equalities and Human Rights Commission, two thirds of lesbian, gay and transgender students had suffered bullying, and 17 per cent had received death threats.
The claims made in the report have angered anti-bullying and gay rights campaigners.
Jordan Newell, a gay rights campaigner, said: "I am incredibly shocked by this report. It is incredibly stark and paints a picture that teachers are holding up their hands and not trying to defend pupils who are expressing their differences."
The National Union of Teachers labelled the comments made to pupils as "inappropriate".
An Essex County Council spokeswoman said: "The council takes bullying very seriously and would hope all teachers are sensible in giving the right advice to pupils."
It said the report will go towards an anti-bullying information pack, which will be given to trainees.
Reader views (22)
Yes - and if you are being bullied because you are short, wear heals or lifts in your shoes.
If you are being bullied because you are smart, act dumb.
It is easier to blame the victim and advise them to conform than to challenge the bully, the bully's parents, and the society that gives bullies the freedom do what they want unchallenged.
- Lisa, Chicago, USA, 20/12/2011 23:16
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Can you shred any light where this report may be?? I wouldn't mind having a look at the report.
- Damo, Derby, UK, 08/11/2011 00:44
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The teachers making these comments have no clue and have probably not come to terms with their own homophobia. Even if it were desirable to "act less gay," whatever that may mean, it's simply not possible for some people. Some children are picked on simply because they are small for their age, or have a more "feminine" physique, or are girls who happen to be strong and muscular. In fact, not all of these people *are* gay; the same is true of victims of homophobic violence. A waiter was murdered in Ottawa a few years ago because the bigots *thought* he was gay.
As for the comment about Columbine, yes, bullying may have had some place in that shooting. But that is not at all true of the massacre at the Ecole Polytechnique. Lepine was a brutal misogynist who was careful only to murder women. You're not telling us he was only bullied by girls, are you? I think that minimizes his misogyny, in much the same way as the call to "act less gay" minimizes the need for homophobic bullies to take responsibility for their actions. Lepine wasn't the bullied, he was the bully ... a well-armed man shooting defenceless, unarmed women.
In fact, both misogyny and homophobia have to stop. Without this constant policing of antiquated gender roles, there would be a lot less bullying in the world.
- Alexis Wright, Toronto, Canada, 06/11/2011 02:15
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Act less gay? What does that look like? Is there some type of meter that measures sibilance and then computes how much "gay" a kid contains? What about the lesbians? If there's a way to measure the meaning of a lisp we must develop a ratio of flannel to silk so we can effectively counsel mannish girls about mascara.
Clearly this school system needs a crash course in LGBT culture. A safe school system protects everyone from bullies and teaches students, parents and teachers to learn from one another and look out for one another.
In the US the Southern Poverty Law Center offers an amazing selection of resources for students, teachers, parents that help teach tolerance. Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network also has good resources.
- Mark, Seattle, WA USA, 03/11/2011 18:11
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Robert (Essex); frankly, as a gay man you should be ashamed of yourself for the opinion you've expressed.
People come in all shapes and sizes - we're all unique - and we shouldn't have to fit into some stereotypical definition of what a man or a woman should be (as seemingly defined by you).
Kids should be congratulated in this day and age for expressing their identity, and shouldn't have to feel threatened or be treated like lesser individuals just because of the way they act.
Homophobic bullying is no different to any other form of persecution and should be stamped out. To tell someone to act "less gay" all you are doing is reinforcing the idea that homosexuality is somehow wrong and to be ashamed of. All it's doing is perpetuating a negative connotation.
- Myk, London, UK, 03/11/2011 14:06
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Hey Robert from Essex, it sounds like you've been influenced by the same media outlets as those "easily influenced kids" because you think that it's not unreasonable. Children need to explore their individuality in a world where there are too many people, but the assertion remains that every one is supposed to be special in one way or another. Men aren't allowed to be graceful and eloquent because it's solely for women? Women aren't allowed to wear pants and a t-shirt because those things are reserved for men? This is your reasoning, but it sounds pretty unreasonable.
To put it into perspective, saying "act less gay" is the same as saying, act less Jewish, act less Asian, act less yourself and more like those who bully you at the cost of living a lie to save yourself from bullying.
Being gay is not a personality trait that needs "toning down" and having pride isn't cause for being teased or beat up. What about kids who excel in academics, do they tell them to act less smart; kids who are less fortunate, do they tell them to act less poor; kids who have learning disabilities, do they tell them to act less stupid to stop being bullied? Homogenizing has never stopped kids from picking on each other, even if we were all gray blobs some would still claim to be grayer than others. It's up to adults to teach kids that being different is the only thing we all have in common.
- Sam Huynh, Garden Grove, USA, 02/11/2011 22:55
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As a representative of Bully Frog (see bullyfrog.com) I suggest that more help is needed in schools. Please do contact us if you feel your school needs our help. Bullying has become a disease which has to be dealt with by those who have been trained to do so. Clearly the teachers have got enough on their plates with their "targets" without having to deal with this terrible illness.
- Lesley-Anne, London, UK, 02/11/2011 22:48
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So what IS wrong with that advice? NOTHING! People, be realistic about this kind of thing. Do you really think the majority of 14 or 16 year olds are mature enough to be completely accepting of something outside of their heteronormative comfort zone? OF COURSE THEY AREN'T!! They can be real bratty intolerant bigots. So if your a teenager and in high school, you can pretty much tell what peoples reactions to you coming to class in drag or openly admitting if your gay or not. Its not going to kill you to keep things on the down low and try to be inconspicuous till your out on your own in college and paying your own bills. Same goes with telling your family about your sexuality. Make the smart choice that your situation calls for. Lots of gay people have done it INCLUDING MYSELF. IN FACT, I would be willing to bet that most gay kids hid their sexuality till they were out on their own so as to not make distractions for themselves and others.
- Eric Forman, Colombus Ohio, 02/11/2011 21:12
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"Homophobes exist because they see gay people on TV represented by these ridiculously camp and overly effeminate men, or butch women, and then the easily influenced kids who identify with them, feel they must behave in the same way also."
I'm glad you've never suffered bullying, but if you think that television is the reason homophobia exists, you've clearly led a sheltered life. Homophobia has been around far longer than television. There are many parts in the world where kids are taught homophobia at home or amongst their peers. Tradition, religious beliefs are all factors.
I'm straight and male, and I do not feel the need to harass gay people just because I saw a TV show. If seeing an 'effeminate man' or a 'dyke' on tv makes a bully want to harass someone in real life, that's because s/he is a bully who would have probably harassed that person in the first place.
History lesson: diverse gender expressions ranging from tomboys, to dykes, to effeminate men (please provide a definition of what a 'real' man is, thank you) have been around substantially longer than modern television. People all come in different shapes and sizes. Kids need to be taught to tolerate differences, not to gang up and beat up people just because they think they can, or because they don't like the way they dress.
What you've done here is lay the blame on the victims. Bravo.
- Shane, Montreal, 02/11/2011 17:37
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Remember those shootings in the USA in school? How about Cleveland School massacre, that ring a bell? It was that sort of 'advice' those two boys received for being bullied and picked on.
Then as I recall...they walked in and shot up the school; honestly if you ask me that place had it coming since the best they could 'do' was tell them to act less gothic or emotional. Well if you do not read your history to well skip forward to the Columbine massacre; 16 dead/wounded from picking two guys calling them 'sissy' and 'fag'.
Oh need more reminders? Red Lake Senior High School, Virgina Tech, and École Polytechnique (in Canada). This all could have been avoided if the bullying had been stopped when it was reported...but nope the victims turned shooters were told the same thing 'ignore it, act less whatever' so I think the schools and the victims sort of deserved it if they didn't see and stop it.
- Danny, York, USA, 02/11/2011 11:46
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This is news? My then-girlfriend and I were given that advice ten years ago. Blaming the victims is so much easier than actually tackling the problem.
- Lorna, Birmingham, UK, 02/11/2011 07:36
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Remember: Straight people cannot control themselves; therefore, it's our responsibility to help them not become violent and hurt us. They are not accountable for their behavior. A raised pinky is enough to provoke ire. Practice having no expressive personality. If you swish, realize that it's not their fault if they kill you. You asked for it. (Do I sound angry?)
- Bill Murphy, San Francisco, CA, USA, 02/11/2011 01:46
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It isn't just Britian..the USA is just as bad-if not worse...Here, openly Gay Youth are sometimes bullied BY the Teachers and no one does a single thing about it
- Stephano di Galeotti, Chicago, IL, 02/11/2011 00:22
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Why is this unreasonable?
Kids lately seem to feel the need to fit into certain groups or behave in certain meaningless categorical trends, regardless of the good or bad attention it creates. My school had the whole goth/emo vs chav thing going on, and it was totally ridiculous.
I am gay but don't behave any differently as a result, and I don't see why it should in anyone else.
Homophobes exist because they see gay people on TV represented by these ridiculously camp and overly effeminate men, or butch women, and then the easily influenced kids who identify with them, feel they must behave in the same way also.
- Robert, Essex, 01/11/2011 23:40
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What about the obvious course of action? How about finally realizing that sexual orientation ISN'T a personality trait. It ISN'T a vocal cord disorder. I shouldn't be able to distinguish who is and who isn't gay by merely hearing them talk.
There's one guy here on my campus who talks with the stereotypical gay lisp (although he's not the only one who does that), frequently wears a rainbow scarf, rainbow hoody, makeup, and even dresses. COMPLETELY unnecessary. Homosexuality isn't a fashion trend.
- , Kenosha, US, 01/11/2011 23:02
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Growing up gay, I was told by teachers that it was my fault I was being bullied, and that I should tone it down. I ended up walking out of lessons because I was being victimised so badly, and the teachers literally turned their back on me. That was 20 years ago.
Now I am a teacher in a primary school in London, and I ALWAYS treat bullying very seriously, as do all my straight colleagues. I have not seen any homophobic bullying in the 10 years I have been a teacher, and I constantly endeavour to teach the values of equality, regardless of gender or orientation.
I'm sure my school isn't the only one of it's kind, but I am also certain that some teachers are still insensitive to homophobic bullying. My impression is that things have changed a great deal in the last 20 years, for the better.
- Nick, London, 01/11/2011 22:29
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Why is this unreasonable?
Kids lately seem to feel the need to fit into certain groups or behave in certain meaningless categorical trends, regardless of the good or bad attention it creates. My school had the whole goth/emo vs chav thing going on, and it was totally ridiculous.
I am gay but don't behave any differently as a result, and I don't see why it should in anyone else.
Homophobes exist because they see gay people on TV represented by these ridiculously camp and overly effeminate men, or butch women, and then the easily influenced kids who identify with them, feel they must behave in the same way also.
- Robert, Essex, 01/11/2011 22:13
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My old teacher told me to confront the bully when he was on his own, so I did and broke his nose, bullying stopped imeadiatly and never re-occured.
Very un-pc nowadays though innit.
- stuart, chesterfield,derbyshire, 01/11/2011 21:35
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That is ridiculous although not surprising. Then again I know some schools will only call it bullying if threats are made to gain money, homework etc.
People wondered why I home educated my daughter until year 4
- wolfwitch, Liverpool UK, 01/11/2011 21:17
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I just gotta say, there are similar problems with the teachers in my school. But when keatings report says that "Teachers received very little training... Would welcome additional support and guidance" it infuriates me. Shouldn't this be something that most people can figure out using common sense? I understand that it is hard for a teacher to manage a case of bullying and those involved, but honestly what kind of person would say 'act less gay'? Even if the subjects appearance is 'making them a target for bullies' shouldn't they be trying to make the bullies more tolerant rather than encouraging the victims to give in to peer pressure and conforming when threatened or singled out? I realize that the actual advice to 'act less gay' may not be exactly what was said, and i hope that it isn't, but if it is even close to the truth, then the individual teacher who said it should be ashamed of themselves.
- Patrick, Columbia, USA, 01/11/2011 21:10
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Doesn't surprise me either. I'll never forget being 11 years old and finally working up courage to tell my teacher about a bully punching me yet again, and then she burst out laughing, and told me "well high school is going to be hell then" (this was in the last year of primary). The bully laid off me a bit but was a constant menace to other kids through out high school.
Strongly disagree that "The teaching profession is a disgrace to Britain.", as there are lots of great teachers out there, but some really shocking ones too who really don't understand/care about bullying and it's impact.
- Gaz, London, 01/11/2011 20:58
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Why the surprise?
Teachers have,for decades, told victims of bullying to "ignore it" or "talk to the bully"
The teaching profession is a disgrace to Britain.
- Jesus, London, 01/11/2011 15:37
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