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Two sides of the BB fame game
By Andrew Williams, Metro 31.07.07
Makosi thinks she is the black Princess Diana
Makosi's pool antics with Anthony made headlines in Britain and Africa
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I auditioned for Big Brother because I wanted to win the £100,000 prize money. My mum needed an operation and I couldn't pay for it on a nurse's salary.
Big Brother isn't looking for someone who will sit in the corner and not do anything. I was top-class entertainment. When you entertain, you aren't looking for people to love you - you're looking for them to have an emotion towards you.
I appreciate love and hate.
I know my behaviour in the hot tub when I had unprotected sex [with fellow housemate Anthony, although he denies it] upset people. I'm from Africa, where so many people die of Aids, so I should have known better but I wasn't prepared for the reaction I got when I left the house.
Davina McCall is the face of Big Brother and she gave me a very aggressive interview. Going through so much sh*t only to be rejected by the face of Big Brother was terrible.
I felt totally disrespected.
Bad reputation
I couldn't go back to Zimbabwe. The African media made a huge fuss of what I did in the house. I did a shoot for Nuts magazine and the African press turned it into 'Makosi is a sex maniac'. When I claimed asylum here, it made things worse for me.
The Zimbabwean security services are on my case - when those people want to talk to you, they don't want to chat, they want to kill you. I appreciate where I grew up but I came to Britain when I was 18 and I feel at home here now.
At first, I didn't know the impact of what had happened in the house and I considered going back to my nursing job. I still miss nursing. I was a cardiac nurse, though, so if someone had a heart attack and they saw Makosi looking after them, it could disturb their recovery too much.
I made a reasonable amount of money after Big Brother and haven't had to work for two years but I'd like a job. I sometimes feel useless and know I'm not using my talents to their full potential. That's one of the problems of doing Big Brother. I can't walk into a hospital and get a job. They'll say: 'Makosi, you need someone to look after you.' A lot of people think I'm crazy.
Public animosity
Someone threatened to beat me up in H&M. This lady asked: 'Are you Makosi?' then started screaming and shouting. She was very aggressive. The manager hid me in the staff room until she left. I still get it today. People will say: 'Is that Makosi? She's a black bitch.' I have enough people to love me not to worry about those who don't.
People sometimes pretend not to know who I am just to be rude. I don't like being screamed at but I'm a strong woman and cope with it. I think: 'Suit yourself, I don't know your name but you know mine.'
There were stories that I became a prostitute. It hurts because it upsets my family. I don't care when people judge me but I don't like it when people make my family feel like they've failed. I have a big cupboard of skeletons but prostitution isn't one of them.
I don't regret doing Big Brother because now I have a voice. Every woman likes attention and I like the fact everyone knows who I am. On the negative side, I can't go back to nursing, I can't go back to my country and I can't pull.
Men have seen my breasts in magazines - who wouldn't want me? But no one wants to know! They think: 'She comes with such baggage.' I think I'm the black Princess Diana. She was misunderstood and couldn't get a date - and that's me!
Out of control
If people want to do reality TV, I'd tell them don't do it for money or to be famous. Your expectations won't be fulfilled. Only do it if you're suicidal. Looking back, realising that I gave people complete control over my life for three months is frightening. You are very vulnerable. They are in total control of what the public will think about you. I'd do another reality show, though. I had a lot of fun. I'm one of those people who does things that end up hurting themselves.
