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Kieron Quirke's rating
What on Middle Earth?
By
Kieron Quirke
20 Jun 2007
People said it couldn't be done - and they were right.
The attempt to condense the 20th century's most popular epic into three hours has resulted in an empty-headed and messy extravaganza that will appal established fans and baffle newcomers.
Neither musical nor play, The Lord of the Rings feels most of all like a theme park stage show, or an extended interlude from the Eurovision Song Contest. The technical and human resources on display are staggering. As Frodo makes his familiar journey from Shire to Mordor, the stage is in almost permanent revolution.
Gallery: More pictures from The Lord of the Rings
Video: See clips from the show here
Platforms rise and fall. Orcs and Uruk-hai (Third Age Orcs resistant to sunlight) thunder around on prosthetic limbs. Massive and rather frightening puppets (Black Riders and one helluva spider) loom over the stage.
Yet as many times as our minds form the question "How did they do that?" the question "Why did they do that?" follows. The spectacular action sequences - which pack the stage with perfectly drilled movement - don't so much serve the story as take their inspiration from it. Generic aggressive dancing equals a battle. Running about the stage equals flight. Greater detail is rarely provided.
Without knowing the plot in advance, noone could fully understand what is going on. Worse, on the few occasions when the special effects coincide with specific dramatic incidents, they are disappointing.
Gandalf 's duel with a papery Balrog ends the first half on a whimper. Shelob (the spider) is great to look at but dies terribly easily. More depressing still is the human drama. There's precious little. The novel's large-scale narrative has been viciously trimmed, leaving hardly any room for character development.
The gaps between action sequences are a space for songs (few and unmemorable, with vapid lyrics), and for crow-barring in explanations of what has gone before.
Under time pressure, famous scenes go by as if the actors are anxious to get out of the way of the stage machinery. Malcolm Storry, perhaps wary of Sir Ian McKellen's shadow, plays Gandalf as a nervous public school teacher, prone to fits of temper when crossed. You'd follow him to the Natural History Museum, but not so willingly into hell.
As Aragorn, Jerome Pradon gets about nine lines in which to fall in love and discover his destiny, yet still fails to deliver them in a consistent accent.
The hobbits come off better. They get a few refreshing jokes, a great dance number and, once Frodo, Sam and Gollum strike out on their own, deliver the only scenes of genuine human interaction. A song of home life is properly affecting, and Michael Therriault's jittery, physical performance as the schizophrenic Gollum, is the best of the night.
The draw of spectacle and of its franchise may yet make this show a hit. It would be difficult to begrudge the hard-working dancers and ingenious designers that success. But you can't fill three hours with setpieces, and this remains a folly, ill-fated at conception, tedious and vulgar in execution. To watch it is to hear money poured down the drain.
The 25 million pound show has divided the critics
"Snobbery and cynicism be damned. This show is a wonder. Go with an open mind, an open heart, and wide-open eyes, and prepare for enchantment."
Sam Marlowe, Times (four stars)
"I'm sorry to report that it remains a thumping great flop. I took my 14-year-old son. Unfortunately, he hated it even more than I did."
Charles Spencer, Daily Telegraph
"I had a perfectly good time at Drury Lane and, if Tolkien's trilogy is to be a stage spectacle, I don't see how it could be better done."
Michael Billington, The Guardian (Four stars)
"British adults will find it hard to suppress open laughter at this show's Portentous Moments. Corny is hardly the word. There's more corn here than in Kansas."
Quentin Letts, Daily Mail
"Despite the drastic cuts to material the story-telling is rushed. Some of the ordeals seem to be over almost before they've begun, so it's hard for the adventures to register weight. The evening's stand-out performer is Michael Thierriault ... as the slimy, perverted Gollum."
Paul Taylor, Independent
"As the show boomed along, there were moments when I thought this was a union of a Sixties hippy craft fair and scenes from Doctor Who."
Paul Callan, Daily Express
Details are correct at the time of publication - please check with venue before booking.
Reader views (17)
What a truly magical show!
We were both a little apprehensive as the films are brilliant and we didn't want to be let down.
The set and imagery are fantastic as are the costumes.
Michael Therriault's performance as Gollum was incredible, he stole the show!
- Niki And Simon, Bridgend, South Wales, 31/03/2008 20:08
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This show really is a wonder! I've seen it three times and I intend to see it one more-and I've got to come all the way from Germany!
Can't wait for the cast recording!
- Sarah, Heidelberg, Germany, 07/12/2007 16:32
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I went on the first night and I loved it! And I am a Tolkien "purist" , despite the cut I think it much truer to the spirit of the books than the films and unlike the films, I really want to see this again.
- Alex, New Milton, 20/11/2007 19:57
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Well, I absolutely loved it. These picky snippy critics can go and write their columns hating this and moaning about that. For a theatrical over-the-top night out, I thought it was great.
- Julie, London, 15/10/2007 16:23
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Ouch. This was seriously awful from start to when I left ten minutes into the second half.
Very very poor.
- Michael, London, United Kingdom, 15/10/2007 13:26
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Fantastic show, moving and a complete theatre experience. The show bowls through the original stories but, let's face it, how are they going to get the whole lot into just 3 hours! Brilliant set, costume and makeup design, superb music and wonderful performances all round. Fabulous technical feats are on show here. The quality of the singing is marvellous - especially the ensemble pieces. The chorus of voices is impressive, the dancing and acrobatics second to none! Seen it 4 times going for fifth at the end of October. Now waiting impatiently for original London cast recording which is supposed to be available in late October, early November. I knew nothing about LOTR before this show other than what my husband, son and brother told me - always thought it was a 'boys' story - but I love it big time. Purists might be horrified but who cares how anyone is introduced to the story. We could all do with living by the philosophy of the 'Fellowship'!
- Mari H, W Yorkshire, 04/10/2007 15:29
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Saw the matinee today 23/6 and loved it. They moved us from the balcony to the stalls so we had fantastic view. The cast were excellent and we loved the hobbit and orc interaction with the audience. The stage was unlike anything I've seen in the West End, along with the special effects. The Black riders, Balrog, Ents and Shelob were so imaginative and totally unexpected. I was concerned the music and songs might let it down as I'm really familiar with the score of the movies but they were really good. Special mention to the 4 main hobbits and gollum - brilliant! Please give it a go and try this show - it would be such a shame if it didn't have a long run, it's certainly worthy of a place in the West End.
- Sarah Page, Kent UK, 04/10/2007 14:29
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Read the book, seen the film and been to the show. Enjoyed them all. Didn't try to compare them as they are portraying different angles of the same story. This was fast moving and very atmospheric. A great evening.
- Pat Broomfield, Southampton UK, 04/10/2007 14:29
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I had such a memorable night! The show is fast paced and amazing. Some great dancing that carries you along, and wonderful haunting music from the elves.
- Rosemary, Loughborough, Leicestershire, 04/10/2007 14:29
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Poor Poor Poor. Am I getting the point across? Enya or Clannad might have sung it better but the words even in elfish were bad. The play drags on, at times complete lack of action. Two high points just don't make a good show. Gollam / Smeagle is the show stealer in a myriad of accents and dialogues bordering on Dorset/Welsh/Scottish etc. and the Drury Lane really needs a make over. A hobbit might have been comfortable in those horrid chairs and lack of leg room -with I might add toilets so far apart if you're in the balconies its unreal.
- Jonathan, London UK, 04/10/2007 14:29
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I saw this show a few days ago in preview.
I am not a huge Hobbit/LoTr fan, but I loved this show. I thought it was quite spectacular and magical in places, (how did Bilbo disappear when he put the ring on?) It was not a souless spectacle though, some parts were very moving or very frightening. I will definitely see this one again, unlike some other big shows.
- Matthew Wood, London, UK, 04/10/2007 14:29
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I don't agree! They haven't taken any liberties and given the amount of story to tell, have done a reasonable job in 3 hours. It's a spectacular staging and if you approach it as storytelling with music (and an open mind), you'll have a good enough time.
- Gareth James, London, 04/10/2007 14:29
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Went to see the show whilst on holiday over in London. Fantastic show, I've seen the films, not read the books - but the story was much clearer here. Lots of emotion in the songs and acting. A great night out, and real value for our ticket money. The staging was immense - better than the big shows I have seen in Las Vegas recently. Go see it!
- Sarah Hughes, New York, USA, 04/10/2007 14:29
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Matthew Warchus has created a magical land full of diverse and interesting characters. The opening scenes with the hobbits moving amongst the audience - on every level of the theatre - is a great introduction to Middle Earth and begins your relatiionship with the hobbits. I have to disagree with your reviewer and say that I have found a great deal of warmth in this show and the relationship between Sam and Frodo is very well developed. The growing strength of the ring as it approaches Mordor takes its toll on the hobbits and James Loye (Frodo) does a great job showing this.
I've seen the show a couple of times now and every performance has been greeted by cheers, applause and standing ovations.
- Net Ambler, Milton Keynes, UK, 04/10/2007 14:29
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I saw this show at last Saturday's matinee. Surrounded by families I couldn't help but be swept away! Right from the start it is a roller coaster of spectacle. OK so there are not that many memorable tunes (neither were there in My Fair Lady until played a few time!) but that's not the point. The cast and crew deserve nothing but praise for what is on stage. Nerds won't enjoy it (in fact like some critics it is probably the "in" thing not to like it) but normal people who enjoy and can appreciate theatre should love it. And finally it doesn't make any sense to compare it to the 3 films that are in a totally different medium. That would be like comparing your average critic with an educated person!!
- Adam Buchanan, London, UK, 04/10/2007 14:29
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The show is brilliant. I can't imagine anybody not enjoying it.
- Andy Tiller, Cambridge, UK, 04/10/2007 14:29
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A tremendous show - Take it from this member of the audience who was wowed by the professionalism and energy of the whole ensemble, as was all around me on the night. Britain at its Best!
- Henry Stewart, Cambridge, England, 04/10/2007 14:29
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