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New Moon is nothing if not an international advertisement for the hungry virtues of virginity and young people can’t get enough of it
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Theatre
A smart, prickly and rewarding view of sexual and emotional confusion
Cock
Restaurants
Kitchen W8 is a bargain for this area, if such sophistication is what you crave
Kitchen W8
Too long and drawn out but very entertaining with excellent special effects
This is a peculiar play and does not work for me. Some of it is very funny but there are real flaws
Alex has a strong powerful voice and was faultless, she is far better now than she was on the X-Factor
London,
Fiona Mountford's rating
Reader rating
Dir: Joe Hill-Gibbins.
Cast: Neil Dudgeon, Hayley Carmichael, Brid Brennan, Justin Salinger
Description: Fantasy-drama by French-Canadian Olivier Choiniere, about a group of supermarket workers looking at celebrity magazines during their break. Translated by Caryl Churchill.
Trains: Tube: Sloane Square 
Phone: 0207565 5000
Website: www.royalcourttheatre.com
Fine actors: The cast of Bliss gave strong performances but had to contend with the script
It isn't. Bliss that is. It’s certainly slick but a drama needs to offer more than that to persuade play-goers it’s been £15 well spent. After all, think of how many celebrity gossip magazines that money could buy.
These trashy titles are the oblique focus of this strange, jet-black comedy from Québécois playwright Olivier Choinière, whose potentially intriguing thesis seems to be that we are what we read. At first, it looks like a clever, if hollow, send-up of our obsession with the lives of vacuous celebrities. Then Choinière, confidently translated by Caryl Churchill, twists it up a notch on the surreal dial. But it reminded me uncomfortably of an overworked exercise on a creative writing course.
On entering the auditorium, we are each handed the blue bib and nametag of the Wal-Mart employee. Four similarly dressed actors confront us from the set, a badly maintained washroom. They talk, in meticulous detail, of a French-Canadian singer Céline, obsessed with every aspect of her life.
Just when we might scream if we hear the name “Céline” once more, the narrative focuses on bedridden Isabelle, an ardent Céline fan. Her life disintegrates into a schlocky “abuse porn” memoir of the sort we lap up when not drooling over stars’ shoes.
Fine as actors Bríd Brennan, Hayley Carmichael, Neil Dudgeon and Justin Salinger are, it’s exhausting to hear them narrate constantly in the third person without the relief of dialogue. Joe Hill-Gibbins’s production fails to join up too many dots although, when the action grounds itself in Wal-Mart for the denouement, we realise that the cut-away black box surround represents a mirror and we are the reflections of these sad sacks who know only how to live vicariously. It’s a salutary warning that could have been sounded it more engagingly.
Until 26 April (020 7565 5000)
Details are correct at the time of publication - please check with venue before booking.
