What worries you about Divas is not that it is lurid and sentimental, or that the choreography is dated and derivative, or even that the dancers wear Nazi uniform and mince around while pursing their lips and slapping their bottoms. All that is bad enough, as is the woman playing peek-a-boo with a chair while emoting to Non, Je ne Regrette Rien, and the faintly unwholesome interest in suffering song birds.

The thing that really keeps you awake long into the night is knowing that people who haven't seen ballet or show dancing, or who haven't seen much, will think this is what it's like.

It isn't, I tell you. Good ballet and good show dancing are a magical mix of airy artistry and theatrical allure. They have refinement and fun, restraint and pace, all of which are lacking from this bafflingly bad show.

Divas is a three-part homage to Edith Piaf, Marlene Dietrich and Judy Garland. It's set to their songs (actual recordings, rather than covers), with costumes a little like the clothes they used to wear. The set is a plain box, and the backdrop a clever multi-LED illuminated piece that evokes the cities of Paris, Berlin and New York. Each of the three section has a corps of dancers and a leading lady who suggests rather than impersonates Piaf, Dietrich and Garland.

The show could work, except for the fact that it's by Peter Schaufuss, the former dancer and one-time director of English National Ballet. Schaufuss charmed on the boards, but as a dance-maker he's just loopy. His show about Princess Diana, complete with dancing tampons, was gloopy and silly and jaw-droppingly old fashion. Schaufuss has often said how he wants to move ballet on, yet his work is 30 years out of date.

It's also in poor taste (I'm not kidding about the Nazis or tampons). It makes you miserable to think that a ballerina as able as Irina Kolesnikova is hamming it to Over the Rainbow. Caroline Petter and Zara Deakin do their best as Piaf and Dietrich, but they have little hope with the dire material.

Until 5 July. Information: 0870 040 0046.