Tonight:
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Nicholas de Jongh's rating
Euro-satire with no real vision
By
Nicholas de Jongh
10 Sep 2008
The scenes at Eurobeat’s premiere would hardly have been out of place at Hitler’s Youth Rally at Nuremberg in 1936: Last night’s clap-along audience kept succumbing to flag-waving ecstasy, revelled in light shows and remained stuck on a jubilant high. You may be outraged by my attempt to associate Nuremberg and Eurobeat. They are, though, connected by virtue of their mindless emotionalism, vulgarity, fatuity and bad-taste.
The show aims affectionately to send-up the Eurovision song contest, its ridiculous songs, the low-camp atmospherics and constant dramatics. Andrew Patterson and Craig Christie, who wrote the book, the awesomely dreadful music and lyrics, attempt to make a Europhobic mockery of foreign stereotypes and several famous singers. They create a wit and humour-free area with lyrics and music that puts the tosh into pastiche.
The setting is supposedly Sarajevo. Comperes Les Dennis, displaying a hair-piece and wary bemusement, and gold-frocked Mel Giedroyc snatch muffed opportunities to amuse us with slightly mangled English. The hysteria-prone audience, with clackers and flags to wave and mobile phones to record their votes in the second half, behave like infants who have eaten too many cream-cakes and drunk too much fizz. They savour female contestants who wear lurid, sparkling frocks — Hungarian peasant girls, for example, sport flowers in their skirts while they sing mainly “Hey! Hey! Little Birds” to the point of dementia. Some singing chaps strip down to spandex or even the odd six-pack and swollen biceps for Eurovision’s gay afficionados. Toomas Jerker and the Hard Boys for Poland go in for smutty innuendos, while, for Iceland, Mairi Cowieson offers a travesty of Bjork.
In similar style comes a spoof of that wonderful German band Kraftwerk to the low point of stupidity. Scott Garnham sings for Ireland in embarrassing imitation of Daniel O’Donnell. Attempts to satirise Nana Mouskouri and Abba leave the imitators not their targets deflated.
What a hackneyed notion it is that foreign singers are funny because they cannot speak proper English and that Eurovision songs invariably sink to the lower depths of stupidity. People who adore Eurovision may well be pleasured and were at the first night. For the rest of us the sight and sound of Eurobeat is cruel and unusual treatment, in other words torture.
Until 15 November (0844 482 5170).
Details are correct at the time of publication - please check with venue before booking.
Reader views (8)
I went with my husband to so that we could see what all the fuss was about and we spent the next 2 hours laughing and enjoying the atmosphere.
It was nothing like what we had expected, and I suppose that added to our enjoyment of this very slick and funny show.
Les Dennis (with his weird hairpiece) and Mel Giedoyrc (with her outrageous costumes) clearly get on really well and are quick to ad-lib if anything
untoward occurs....
Being able to vote at the end (remember to bring mobile phones) just adds to the enjoyment.
A fun, unpretentious and relaxing evening (if a little noisy!).
- Butterfly, London, England, 20/09/2008 11:17
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What a grouch Mr De Jongh is! I have seen the show and I thought it was a lot better than I had thought it was going to be! I laughed myself sick and the cast, choreography and concept were all spot on! Douze points!
- Clint Pickles, london, 18/09/2008 20:11
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Nicholas de Jongh - You are obviously not English so do not critic a very humerous English/Australian show. You clearly know nothing, like most critics. Good luck as a street cleaner, because thats all you are worthy of doing. I say as per usual go for yourself and don't read his drovel above.
- Paul Webb-Jones, London, 10/09/2008 14:35
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I laughed constantly. I cheered and clapped and enjoyed the show for what it was - light hearted entertainment. Mr De Jongh, you must have had a very bad day to not have got swept away with the atmosphere. It isn't high art but it is highly enjoyable which is what the theatre is about.
- Sam, London, UK, 10/09/2008 14:13
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I was at the show last night and I thought it was one of the most amusing and entertaining shows in London. If the reviewer thought this was vulgar, I sincerely hope he is never allowed to see Avenue Q - one of the biggest stage success stories in recent years.
The jokes were funny, the crowd were led through a fun journey and I would recommend this show to everyone from my grandparents to children. It is just fun - pure fun, and a great night out!
I think Mr. de Jongh may be one of these people left cursing the UK's poor results in the real competition and taking a swipe more at political voting in the real competition here - because Eurobeat ticks every box that it goes for.
A great great night out!
- Barry, London, UK, 10/09/2008 13:17
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I thoroughly enjoyed the show - and so, by the looks of it, did the rest of the audience! Maybe with the exception of a couple of grumpy old men on the balcony...
- Maria Jensen, London UK, 10/09/2008 12:22
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I thought this show was fantastic and just so funny - I laughed out loud so much! Brilliant! Would recommend it to anyone!
- Lisa Shoreson, Westcliff-on-Sea, 10/09/2008 11:30
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Come on, Mr de Jongh, it's FUN - and so sad that you can't just enjoy it.
- Gareth James, London UK, 10/09/2008 11:04
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