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Fiona Mountford's rating
Denise Van Outen has a dig at Blondes
By
Fiona Mountford
10 Aug 2009
EDINBURGH THEATRE: The Edinburgh Fringe Festival might like to think it prioritises the discovery of edgy new talent, but it’s certainly not immune to the power of star wattage come August.
Thus we have Auld Reekie getting moderately excited about Denise Van Outen debuting in what is billed as a celebration of (bottle) blondes down the decades, but what turns out to be an astonishingly mean-spirited dig at nearly every blonde who isn’t Denise Van Outen.
Stop blathering: Denise Van Outen on stage in her Edinburgh show, a mean-spirited mix of songs and misguided banter about famous blondes through the decades
The hackneyed format of the piece has Basildon’s finest in awkward bonds. Stranded on a stage with just her loyal pianist (Mike Moran) for company, she sings blonde songs (Marilyn, Dolly and, er, Olivia Newton-John), reminisces and, worst of all, tries to crack the wretchedly misguided jokes with which scriptwriter Jackie Clune has saddled her. In a city that’s currently brimful of super-sharp comedians, such audience “banter” comes up very short indeed. Wafting the lavatory brush that a drunken Bonnie Tyler apparently sang into at the Brit Awards one year is also not a world-beating idea.
I’d feel worse about being nasty to Van Outen, who has previously cultivated an agreeably perky public persona, if she weren’t so darn vituperative to other women. The mother of stage school chum Danniella Westbrook comes in for some gratuitous sneering and as for famous blondes, well, Kylie’s short, Madonna’s old and Britney’s a basket case. How this trio must wish they had the back catalogue of Denise Van Outen to console them.
She does at least have a decent-ish voice which means that, even though it’s a peculiar selection of songs, we long for her to stop blathering and start crooning. As La Monroe would surely have said of this show, do-do-be-don’t.
Until 31 August. Box Office: 0844 545 8252. www.underbelly.co.uk
Details are correct at the time of publication - please check with venue before booking.
Reader views (11)
I saw the show on Friday and really enjoyed it, I also thought it was all very tongue in cheek and not in the least the way you have described it Fiona. I hear that it's completely sold out. It was a pity that the show didn't have a later time slot as I think it would have attracted a younger, even more responsive audience. Denise's voice it's excellent as is her comic timing, the girls a very talented, very beautiful all round entertainer.
- Kathryn Fox, Basildon Essex, 17/08/2009 12:15
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Saw it on Thurs , thought it was embarrassing for Denise. She looked awkward and forced and the audience felt embarrassed for her too. In the bar we decided it was dreadful writing - cruel, tired and embarrassing 'jokes'. Denise is lovely, and a great singer, but she needs different writers if she wants to do this sort of thing again.
- Jonathan P, London, London, 16/08/2009 21:41
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Saw the show in Edinburgh Thurs 13/08 and really enjoyed it only negative was I wanted it to go on longer. Denise Van Outen has a great voice and was warm friendly and down to earth in her delivery. Cant understand why anyone can give this fab show a negative crit. Well done Den! Hope we see more of you in the future.
- Donald, Inverness Scotland, 15/08/2009 23:36
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Talk about cringe. She looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. Poorly scripted, bad jokes, delivered through a tone of falseness. If there is a cruise ship leaving Edinburgh, I suggest she hops on and sails off into the sunset.
- James, Leicester, 14/08/2009 07:48
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How pretentious to go on about the trials of being beautiful?!
- Pauline, Middlesex, 11/08/2009 17:14
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She is another 'lucky one' borderline talent and personality but bucket loads of luck. At least she scores on effort.
- Amazonmothe, hasting, 11/08/2009 08:20
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Colouring your hair a shade of yellow doesn’t make you blonde.
- Ian, Reading, England, 11/08/2009 08:11
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It was ok but that's all. The professionals are supposed to be more than just ok! She thinks she's a lot better than she actually is though which is a bit annoying. Strange format, I agree and cabaret acts are suppose to say something interesting. It will probably be a success because she is Denise Van Outen and audiences want to see a name on stage but the whole thing seemed a bit pointless and stilted and the family photos and discussing the points in her love life was just odd!
- Jackie, Arbroath, 10/08/2009 17:03
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Saw it pre Edinburgh - just loved it, she is such a talent and the audiance just loved her, she will be a big hit up there and lets hope no one cares what one London paper says....
- Jamie Tate, london, 10/08/2009 15:26
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Well, I saw this show last night and I thought Denise Van Outen was absolutley SENSATIONAL. She has a wonderful voice and the audience loved it.
You must have been having a bad day Fiona!
- Lisa, Edinburgh, Scotland, 10/08/2009 10:11
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I thought it was a great show! She didn't come across like that to me, it's all tongue in cheek! She makes fun of herself as well, she's not pretending to be superior to the rest. She humanises the big Blonde icons and has a bit of fun along the way!
- Isla, London, 10/08/2009 10:05
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